The devil loves a woman who cannot say “no.”
The devil loves a woman who never says “yes.”
Two women—two ditches.
Yesterday we met the woman who can never seem to say no.
The woman who takes on too much, gives too much of herself, and has a difficult time disappointing anyone.
She is always finding room for one more thing, one more responsibility, and one more person who needs her.
Today, I want to introduce you to another friend who has found herself in the opposite ditch.
She is the woman who can never seem to say yes.
She has learned to guard her time, protect her peace, and arrange her life in such a way that very little is allowed to interrupt it.
She knows her limits, but somewhere along the way, she may have become so protective of them that sacrifice, service, and even the ordinary inconveniences of loving other people have very little room in her life.
And while yesterday's friend needs to learn that she doesn't have to say yes to everything, today's friend may need to be reminded that she shouldn't say no to everything that asks something of her.
I think we have to be honest about this one, because I suspect there are more of us who recognize a little of ourselves in this woman than we might care to admit.
I wonder how often someone has asked you to do something, and your first thought was how much trouble it would be?
Perhaps it would interfere with your plans, take up an afternoon you had set aside for yourself, or require you to give attention to something you hadn't intended to add to your day.
You consider the request, think about everything it would involve, and decide that you simply don't have room for it.
And maybe you really, truly don't.
We all have responsibilities, and there are seasons when our time and energy are spoken for.
But I wonder how often we have become so accustomed to making decisions according to what is convenient that we seldom consider what might be required of us if we were a little more willing to give.
We can become rather attached to the lives we have arranged for ourselves.
We know what we enjoy, how we like to spend our time, and what we would prefer not to have disturbed.
Eventually, even the smallest inconvenience can begin to feel like an unreasonable demand.
What if, in our determination to protect our time and comfort, we have also become increasingly unwilling to give them away?
I think this is a conversation worth having among Christian women because Scripture has quite a bit to say about the way we are to regard one another.
Galatians 5:13 reminds us:
"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another."
We have been given liberty in Christ, and we are called to use that liberty in the service of others.
There ought to be something in our Christian walk that reaches into the way we spend our afternoons, respond to requests, welcome people into our homes, and make room for those who need us.
Sometimes I wonder if we have become so accustomed to asking what works best for us that we have forgotten to consider what might be a blessing to someone else.
I think about the Good Samaritan in Luke 10.
He was traveling along his way when he came upon a man who had been robbed, wounded, and left half dead.
Others had seen the man and passed by, but the Samaritan stopped.
Luke 10:33 says:
"But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him."
He allowed compassion to interrupt his journey.
He tended to the man's wounds, carried him to an inn, and made arrangements for his care.
His willingness to help required something of him, including his time, attention, and resources.
I wonder how many opportunities to be a blessing have passed before us because we were too occupied with getting on with our own lives.
How often have we noticed a need and assumed someone else would take care of it, or declined an opportunity simply because it would require us to rearrange something we had planned?
We cannot meet every need, but I do believe we ought to have hearts that are tender enough to be moved by the needs of others.
I also think about the way this attitude can affect our families and friendships.
Relationships require a certain amount of giving that cannot always be anticipated.
There are seasons when a friend needs more from us than usual, when our children need our attention at an inconvenient time, or when a family member needs help that changes the way we had intended to spend our day.
We can become so accustomed to having people fit into our lives that we forget relationships require us to make room for theirs as well.
I think about the women who have blessed my own life, particularly those who were willing to show up when they had other things they could have been doing.
The friend who made time for a visit, the woman who opened her home, the person who brought a meal or offered a helping hand without making me feel that I was asking too much.
I doubt every one of those occasions was convenient for them, but their willingness has left an impression on me.
And as I think about the generations coming behind me, I want my children and grandchildren to see that kind of Christian womanhood.
I want them to grow up understanding that a meaningful life involves giving ourselves to other people, that serving the Lord will sometimes interrupt our plans, and that there is joy in making someone else's burden a little lighter.
Romans 12:10-13 gives us some beautiful instruction:
"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality."
I particularly love those last few words, given to hospitality.
There is something about a woman who has made room in her life for other people.
A woman whose home welcomes a guest, whose table has space for one more, and whose schedule can occasionally be rearranged because someone needs her.
I don't want us to become so particular about how our days unfold that we lose the ability to enjoy those opportunities.
Some of the sweetest memories we will ever make may come from afternoons we hadn't planned, conversations that lasted longer than expected, and acts of kindness that required us to put something else aside.
I would hate for us to become so attached to our own comfort that we miss the richness of a life generously shared with others.
Dear friend, I hope you will be careful with your heart when it comes to this.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying your home, having a schedule, making plans, or recognizing that your responsibilities have limits—
But I hope you will occasionally allow someone else's need to change your plans.
I hope you will be willing to open your home, give an afternoon, take on a little extra work, or show up for someone when doing so requires more than you had intended to give.
I hope your friends know they can call you, your family knows you are willing to make room for them, and your church is strengthened by your willingness to serve.
The devil loves a woman who cannot say no— But he also loves a woman who has become so accustomed to saying no that she has very little left to give.
I hope we become women who are willing to give of ourselves, who recognize that our time and resources are gifts from the Lord, and who find joy in using what He has entrusted to us for the good of others.
You will never regret the opportunities you take to love people well.
And sometimes the most meaningful thing you do in a day will be something you never intended to do when you woke up that morning.
Biblical Womanhood
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