Amy Carmichael once wrote:
"If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted."
These words bring us face to face with an uncomfortable measure of our spiritual condition.
We can spend our mornings reading Scripture, our days serving our families, and our evenings praying to become more like Christ, yet it is often the smallest, most unexpected interruptions that reveal how much His love is governing our conduct.
It is easy to appear patient when life is cooperating.
We can keep our voices pleasant when we are well-rested, extend kindness when others are agreeable, and maintain our composure when our plans remain undisturbed.
But what happens when something jars us out of that comfortable place?
The child who interrupts us for the fifth time when we have finally sat down.
The husband whose thoughtlessness touches a tender place.
The relative who makes an insensitive remark or the unexpected expense that unsettles our plans.
In these ordinary moments, our carefully maintained composure can disappear, and our words may reveal an attitude we have been reluctant to acknowledge.
We are quick to explain away our reactions.
We were tired, overwhelmed, distracted, or simply having a difficult day.
While these circumstances may explain why our patience was stretched, they do not excuse what came spilling out.
The sudden jar did not put bitterness, pride, or selfishness into our hearts.
It exposed what was already there.
How easily we apologize for our words without addressing the disposition that produced them.
We promise to do better next time, yet seldom consider why those particular words were so readily available in the first place.
This is where Amy's words about Calvary love become more thought-provoking.
When we consider what Christ has borne for us, how patiently He has dealt with our failures, and how freely He has extended mercy in our unworthiness, it ought to change the way we handle the shortcomings of others.
We cannot continually receive the grace of God while remaining unwilling to extend it to the people He has placed in our lives.
Our husbands, children, and family members often experience the least guarded version of us.
We may be gracious toward strangers and careful to maintain a pleasant disposition in public, while allowing those within our own homes to bear the weight of our frustrations.
What a tragedy it would be to have a reputation for Christian kindness while those who know us best are most familiar with our impatience.
Of course, this does not mean we will never feel frustrated, hurt, disappointed, or weary.
Life brings circumstances that press upon us, and our emotions are not always easily settled.
But we must learn to take those feelings to the Lord rather than allowing them to spill onto everyone within reach.
If resentment has been quietly taking root, an inconvenience may be all it takes to bring it to the surface.
If pride has been left unchallenged, even a simple correction may provoke an unkind response.
The attitudes we permit to remain in our hearts will eventually influence the way we treat others.
This is why we need more than a passing familiarity with God's Word.
We need it to search us, correct us, and change us.
We need to yield to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to deal with the very dispositions we have grown accustomed to excusing.
Sometimes we ask the Lord to help us control our tongues when we ought to be asking Him to change our hearts.
We want to speak more gently, but are we willing to surrender the resentment that makes gentleness so difficult?
We want patience with our children, but are we willing to examine the selfishness that makes their needs feel like an imposition?
We want to respond graciously when our pride is wounded, but have we allowed the Lord to deal with our pride?
A cup cannot give what it does not contain.
And when life gives it a sudden jar, whatever has been filling it will spill out.
I want to be a woman whose ordinary responses are shaped by the extraordinary love of Christ.
A woman whose family experiences her kindness even when life has not gone according to plan.
A woman who is willing to let the Lord continually refine her character, including the parts she might prefer to excuse.
That kind of transformation requires more than a resolution to behave better.
It requires a heart surrendered to the Lord and a daily dependence upon His Spirit to produce in us what we cannot manufacture ourselves.
The next time something jars us, may we look beyond the inconvenience that provoked our reaction and consider what the Lord has brought to our attention.
What spilled out of me?
What needs to change?
May we never become so accustomed to our own temperament that we stop allowing the Lord to transform it.
May the love that flowed from Calvary find its way into our homes, our conversations, and even those unexpected moments when life gives us a sudden jar.
May the people who live closest to us experience, in our everyday responses, something of the Calvary love we have so freely received.
When life comes by and gives you a sudden jar, what spills out?
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