“Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars: She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table.”
—Proverbs 9:1-2
I was reading in Proverbs on Tuesday when I came across this phrase that made me stop and think:
“She hath killed her beasts.”
Please note before you continue reading that I realize this passage has its own context, and I am not suggesting that this particular phrase was intended as an allegory for the inward battles of a woman.
But sometimes, while reading the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit will bring our attention to something that becomes deeply personal between the Lord and ourselves.
A familiar passage will suddenly reach into a place of our hearts that needs attention, and we find ourselves sitting with a thought we cannot quite shake.
That was my experience Tuesday.
I began thinking about the wise woman who builds her house, and the words of Proverbs 14:1 came to mind:
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
How often do we consider the woman who is doing the building?
Her character, her attitudes, her responses, and the condition of her heart all find their way into the home she is building.
The people closest to us live with the beasts we cultivate within ourselves.
Maybe some of the very things making our homes harder to build are beasts we have been unwilling to put to death within ourselves.
I began to question what these beasts might look like in my own heart, and I found myself thinking of the things I have sometimes been far too willing to excuse.
The beast of selfishness that makes my own wants feel more important than the needs of those I love.
The beast of discontentment that overlooks today's blessings while longing for something more.
The beast of bitterness I continue to carry long after the hurt has passed.
The beast of pride that resists correction and always seems to find a reason to defend itself.
The beast of impatience that makes home an uncomfortable place for those who live in it.
And the beast of a sharp tongue that speaks in a moment of frustration, leaving wounds that may take much longer to heal.
I could name many other beasts, but the main question is:
What beasts have I allowed to make themselves at home in my heart, and how long have I been making room for the very beasts the Lord is asking me to put to death?
Ecclesiastes 3:18-19 offers more light on this thought:
“I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts. For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts…”
There is something instructive about being reminded of the beastly nature of fallen man.
Our flesh has appetites, impulses, and inclinations that, left to themselves, will lead us in directions far removed from godliness.
We are capable of nurturing the very things that damage our relationships, grieve those closest to us, and hinder our spiritual growth.
We can become so accustomed to indulging our flesh that we begin treating its demands as though they are simply part of who we are.
I think this is why Colossians 3:5 tells us, “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth.”
Mortify.
Put to death.
There are beasts within our heart that cannot be continually excused, entertained, and fed while we expect to grow in godliness.
And maybe this is why the passage in Proverbs has pressed me so hard.
I can spend a great deal of time thinking about the kind of home I want to build, the kind of marriage I want to nurture, and the kind of influence I want to have upon my children and grandchildren, but how much time do I spend considering the woman who is doing the building?
My family experiences the woman I am becoming.
They are affected by my patience and impatience, my contentment and discontentment, my kindness and my sharpness.
The beasts I allow to take up residence in my heart will eventually find their destructive way into the lives of those I love.
I do not want to spend my years praying for the Lord to strengthen my home while refusing to let Him deal with the beasts in my own heart that may be tearing it down.
I do not want to become so familiar with my shortcomings that I begin making excuses for them, or so accustomed to my own temperament that I expect everyone around me to accommodate it.
I know I will never reach a place of sinless perfection this side of heaven.
I will need the Lord's correction, forgiveness, and grace every day of my life.
But I want to remain tender enough toward His Word that when He puts His finger on something in my heart, I am willing to deal with it.
I want to be a woman who builds her house.
I think I’m realizing much of that building begins with recognizing what needs to die within me.
Tuesday, four little words in Proverbs gave me a great deal to think about.
I suspect they will stay with me for a while.
“She hath killed her beasts.”
Have I?
Have you?
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