From the archives
(The final installment of “With Her Hands” will be published tonight.)
If you read through the Old Testament, it’s not long before you notice the rhythm. A kind of spiritual cycle that repeats itself—generation after generation.
They followed God.
Then they strayed.
They built idols.
They hardened their hearts.
Then came His discipline—often firm, sometimes devastating.
And then, when the sorrow was too heavy to bear, they cried out.
And the Lord—rich in mercy—took them back again.
And again.
And again.
I used to read those passages with a kind of frustration, if I’m honest.
I would wonder how they could forget Him so easily after all they had seen.
How could they turn their backs on the God who split the sea, fed them from the sky, led them with fire, covered them with cloud?
But the older I get—and the more I walk with the Lord—the more I see those pages aren’t just their story.
I have known seasons of faithfulness.
Seasons where prayer was close and the Word was alive and my heart felt soft, yielded, obedient.
And then—somewhere in the dailiness of life—I lose focus.
Not with bold rebellion, but with tiny distractions.
I get weary.
I chase productivity instead of presence.
I start measuring faithfulness by how much I’ve accomplished instead of how much I’ve abided.
And without even realizing it, I’ve started looking to other things for the peace only He can give.
I don’t bow to a golden calf.
But I let comfort become my refuge.
I let comparison steal my joy.
I let control become my idol.
And somewhere in that drift, I realize—once again—I’ve strayed.
Not beyond His grace.
But far enough to feel the loss of it.
And He, in His mercy, convicts me.
He never scolds.
He doesn’t shame.
He gently turns me back.
Just like He did for Israel.
This week in my devotions I landed in Psalm 78:
“Nevertheless they did flatter him with their mouth, and they lied unto him with their tongues.”
“For their heart was not right with him, neither were they stedfast in his covenant.”
— Psalm 78:36–37 (KJV)
It struck me how often I’ve done the same.
Said the right words, sung the right hymns, quoted the right Scriptures—while my heart wandered.
While my thoughts chased things I should’ve surrendered.
While I performed for people and forgot to sit at His feet.
But then this:
“But he, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not: yea, many a time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath.”
— Psalm 78:38 (KJV)
Many a time.
I just sat with those words for a while.
Because it’s true.
He has turned His anger away from me many a time.
He has forgiven more than I could ever count.
He has held me in place when I deserved to be cast off.
And He has walked me home again and again and again.
So today, I’m not writing out of frustration or spiritual fatigue.
Grieved at how easily I wander.
But grateful that He never does.
He is constant.
Even when I’m inconsistent.
He is merciful.
Even when I’m messy.
He is the same God who called to Adam, “Where art thou?”
Not because He didn’t know where Adam was…
But because He wanted Adam to know it.
And turn back.
Maybe you’ve felt that same ache lately.
That slow realization that you’ve gone a bit cold, that your prayers feel hollow, that you’re running hard but not resting in Him.
Friend, you’re not alone.
You’re not hopeless.
And you’re not too far.
The mercy of God is not just for first-time repentance.
It’s for every time we wander and turn back.
“Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.”
— Hosea 6:1 (KJV)
So I will return.
And I’ll keep returning.
And I’ll thank Him every time His mercy meets me again.
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.
And then—Grace.
Always Grace.
Biblical Womanhood
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