Some deaths never make sense.

I asked people on X about the saddest way someone they knew had died.

Knowing the cause of death does very little for the questions that come afterward. Why that person? Why then? Why didn’t God stop it? And what are you supposed to do with the ordinary days that keep coming when someone you love is gone?

When Jesus came after Lazarus had died, Martha said:

“Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.” John 11:21, KJV

Martha believed in Him. She also knew her brother was dead. Her faith did not keep her from saying what His presence might have prevented. Later, Mary met Him with the same words.

You may have prayed some version of that yourself. You asked God to heal someone. To bring them home. To give you more time. You believed He could, and now you are trying to understand why He didn’t.

I won’t pretend I can tell you His reason.

But look at what Jesus did when He saw them weeping.

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35, KJV

He was about to raise Lazarus. He knew His friend would walk out. Still, He wept with the people who loved him.

You do not have to get through a funeral without crying to prove you believe in the resurrection. You can miss someone terribly and still believe God. You can have an awful afternoon months after the funeral, when everybody else seems to have gone back to normal. That does not make your faith a fraud.

Paul wrote to Christians who needed to know what would happen to believers who had died:

“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.” 1 Thessalonians 4:14, KJV

That hope rests on something Jesus has already done. He died and rose again. The future of the believer is in His hands, including the believer we have buried.

I cannot give you a reason for every death. I can tell you that the Lord we ask for comfort is the same Lord who wept with mourners. You can bring Him the question you have been afraid to say out loud. You can ask for help getting through today without pretending today is easy.

And if someone you love is grieving, you don’t have to explain their loss. Remember the person with them. Say the name. Take them a meal. Let them talk without finding a lesson to put at the end of it.

Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus.

He still wept.

Share

P.S. I’ve kept the Biblical Man fundraiser open through this weekend, and I could use your help. Your gift supports this publication and the work of finishing FaithWall, our Scripture app.

As a thank-you, I’ll send everyone who gives 100 Plain Questions About the Bible. Give more than $25 and I’ll also send you Have an Answer.

Support Biblical Man’s work, including FaithWall.

If you need the Bible questions guide and can’t give, ask me. You can still have it.