Your Wife Shouldn’t Have to Raise the Man She Sleeps With

A man whose wife isn’t raising the man she sleeps with.
A man who pays the bills without acting like he bought her.
A man who keeps his word when it costs him.
A man who puts his phone down when his kid says “Dad.”
A man who stays faithful when nobody would find out.
A man who can lose an argument without making the whole house pay.
A man whose apology doesn’t put his wife on trial.
A man who reads past “wives, submit.”
A man who repents while his cover story still works.

A man who submits to Christ before demanding submission from his wife.

“Wives, submit” is in the Bible. So is the command for a husband to give himself for his wife. A man ought to be as interested in obeying that command as he is in making sure she obeys hers.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

— Ephesians 5:25, KJV⁠

Read the next few verses. Paul tells husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. To nourish and cherish them. Your paycheck doesn’t buy you an exemption from that part of the chapter.

You can make a woman stop arguing with you by making disagreement miserable. Keep punishing her for telling the truth and, eventually, you may get a quiet house. You still haven’t dealt with the thing she was trying to tell you.

And if your apology ends with her defending herself, you have work left to do. Name what you did without making her responsible for it. Correct the lie. Keep the promise after the argument is over and nobody is handing out credit.

Whatever your wife needs to answer for, you can start obeying Christ without waiting for her to go first.

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