When Anxiety Wrings You Out: And How to Cope in the Middle

This piece is a little different from my normal niche, but I felt compelled to put this down in writing because anxiety is a very real thing affecting a handful of people I love dearly right now in this season—I would venture to say they’re not alone with this burden.

I hope this helps someone today feel seen and less alone.

There are a few people extremely close to me right now carrying things that have brought literal, physical anxiety into their lives, and when they describe what they are going through, I recognize more than I wish I did.

I have been there more than once, waking with my heart already racing, trying to settle a restlessness that seems to reach through my entire body.

I know the frightening feeling of breathing and still feeling as though I cannot get enough air, and the urge to get up and go somewhere, anywhere, because remaining where I am feels almost unbearable.

Sometimes even the clothes on your body can feel like too much, and you have the urge to strip down and scream because everything feels as though it is strangling you.

Trying to explain that to someone who has never experienced it can leave you feeling terribly exposed.

By the time you have managed to get through an ordinary morning, you may already feel exhausted by how much effort it took.

If you are struggling with anxiety in this season, I want you to know you are not alone.

There should not be shame hovering over someone who is already frightened and exhausted.

There are people going through their days with these same sensations whose love for the Lord is sincere and whose faith has carried them through years of difficulty.

Please have some grace with yourself as you find your way through what you are facing now.

We are living in bodies affected by the Fall, sharing in the weakness and suffering of a creation still waiting for redemption.

Anxiety involves the body as well as the mind, and its causes can be complicated.

Prolonged strain, illness, and changes in our lives may all deserve attention.

A racing heart gives no one grounds to accuse you of spiritual failure or possession by an evil spirit.

Your suffering deserves care, and the Lord knows far more about what you are carrying than anyone who has decided to judge you from the outside.

Scripture has room for the experience of being afraid.

David wrote, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” Psalm 56:3.

There is comfort in being able to read those words from someone who knew the Lord and still had occasions when fear rose within him.

His prayers allow us to hear the distress as he brings it before God.

Elsewhere, the psalmist writes, “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.” Psalm 94:19.

Anyone who has lain awake with intrusive thought following intrusive thought can understand why that verse would become precious.

People have been bringing troubled minds before the Lord for a very long time, and we have been given words to pray when our own thoughts are difficult to gather.

I often think of a glass that is full, overfull, right to the brim of what you are carrying physically, emotionally, or financially.

Then one more drop falls in, and you spill over.

It may happen over something so simple that afterward you can hardly understand why it bothered you, perhaps an ordinary question you could usually answer without a second thought.

On another day, it would have passed without much notice.

Right now, that last little drop has nowhere to go.

Try to remember the whole of what you have been carrying before you become angry with yourself for feeling overwhelmed.

I wanted to include some practical things that I have found to be helpful in my own seasons of clinical anxiety.

Firstly, I would begin by being kinder to your body in the morning.

Put food in your stomach before coffee—

even if breakfast is something very simple

even if you hate the thought of breakfast

even if you think it sounds silly—

Do it anyway.

A piece of toast, a banana, or a scrambled egg will do for a beginning.

Whatever you fancy and can manage to eat, give yourself some nourishment before reaching for the cup.

When you are already feeling shaky and unsettled, avoid starting the day with coffee hitting a fasted, empty stomach.

Your adrenals will thank you.

While we are on the topic, pay attention to how much caffeine you are having in general, because overloading your body with high levels of caffeine throughout the day is not ideal for your cortisol or fatigued nervous system.

Avoid the energy drinks—regardless of how tired you think you are!

Next, if you are able, get outside in the morning sunlight, even if it is only for ten minutes on the porch step while you sip that coffee after you have eaten.

Take your Bible and morning devotional with you if you like, and let yourself sit there for a little while.

There is something very ordinary and manageable about stepping outside before the day has filled up, giving your body some daylight and yourself a few minutes when you can simply be where you are.

The benefit this has on your nervous system and circadian rhythm cannot be over stated!

Also, a morning walk in the fresh air can follow if time allows.

An old saying I’ve found to be mostly true:

“Motion heals emotion.”

A walk isn’t going to make all your problems melt away, but it can help your body work through what it is currently going through.

For other exercise try to focus on low-intensity movement only during a season when you are this worn down, whether that is walking, stretching, or some light weight lifting that feels comfortable.

Leave the high-intensity workouts aside for now if your body already feels overwhelmed by ordinary demands.

You can let movement be gentle and give yourself time to recover your strength, without asking every walk to become a workout or every workout to leave you exhausted.

As the day goes on, eat regular, nutritionally balanced meals.

When your adrenals are overloaded and anxiety has left you completely depleted and struggling to eat enough, please do not go low carb or cut your calories down to almost nothing.

Nourish your body and give complex carbohydrates a place in what you eat.

I am talking about steel-cut oats, sweet potatoes, whole fruit, and whole grains, alongside the protein and fats that help make a meal.

Your body and nervous system need adequate fuel, and there is enough to carry right now without making food another source of strain.

Weight loss goals can wait while you are having trouble getting through the day and feeding yourself regularly.

Keep meals simple, with nourishing foods you enjoy and can afford, and allow yourself some help with getting them on the table.

Whole foods are a good place to begin, and a bag of frozen vegetables can be just as welcome in the kitchen as anything you brought home fresh.

There is no need to make eating well so complicated that you feel defeated before you begin.

Remember to hydrate through the day, too.

Keep water within reach and drink regularly, especially if you tend to forget until you are thirsty and worn out.

Coconut water is an option if you enjoy it, and extra electrolytes may have a place when you are sweating a great deal or spending time in the heat.

For an ordinary day, water with your meals and nearby as you work is a simple place to start.

Bust out that cute Stanley you just “had to have in 2024,” and put it to use!

When the sun goes down, begin letting the day settle around you.

Try to set screens aside as bedtime approaches, because a phone can keep bringing new concerns into your evening long after you have enough to think about.

If you need to use a device, dim the screen and use a warmer display setting, such as “Night Shift” on an Apple device, while still giving yourself a time to put it down.

Make a little room between what you have been looking at and the moment you ask your body to sleep.

If you enjoy a bath, make room for a comfortably hot soak with mineral salts two or three evenings a week, as you are able.

Let the water be hot enough to enjoy without overheating yourself, and allow your shoulders to relax while you sit there.

A hot bath calms the nervous system by shifting the body from a sympathetic "fight-or-flight" state into a parasympathetic "rest-and-digest" state.

Try to go to bed within the same hour window each night and give yourself room for around eight hours of sleep, allowing for the rest your own body needs.

I know how frustrating that can sound when you are already tired and still finding it difficult to settle.

Do what you can to make the evening restful, and have patience with yourself if sleep takes time.

Lying awake is hard enough without turning it into another reason to feel that you are getting everything wrong.

Some supplements I’ve found to be beneficial in this season are a quality B complex, vitamin D (especially when you spend long northern winters indoors).

Magnesium, L-theanine, and ashwagandha are other supplements to research and consider.

*These are just a few supplements that I’ve personally found to be helpful, please consult your doctor or pharmacist before adding in any supplements ESPECIALLY if you are on prescription medication.

There may still be moments when panic rises, even while you are taking good care of yourself.

When you recognize a familiar panic attack, remind yourself that the surge will pass and give yourself something simple to focus on while it does.

One thing I have found tremendously helpful is slowing my breathing and counting, because it gives my attention somewhere to return when everything feels as though it is moving too quickly.

I call this box breathing, essentially you breathe in gently while counting to four, hold for four counts, breathe out for four, and pause for four before beginning again.

Let the breathing stay easy, and leave out the holds if they make you feel more breathless.

The slowness and consistency are what you are attending to, without forcing yourself to take an enormous breath or trying to perform the exercise perfectly.

Cold water on my face has also helped me during an active panic moment.

A cool, damp cloth over your cheeks is a simple way to try a cooling sensation while continuing to breathe normally.

Let your feet rest on the floor and notice the support of the chair beneath you, giving yourself a little time for the intensity to ease.

And hum, if it feels soothing.

Hum your favorite hymn or a lullaby you know, letting the familiar tune come at an easy pace.

You can do it while sitting on the porch or moving slowly around the kitchen.

Humming is a simple, effective tool for reducing anxiety because physical vibrations from the sound stimulate the vagus nerve and calm the nervous system.

On a spiritual note I would recommend being completely honest with the Lord when you pray, because He already knows what you are carrying and can handle the truth of how you feel.

You have no need to sugarcoat things with Him.

Tell Him that you are frightened and tired of feeling this way, that you have read the verse and still feel your heart racing, and that you need help getting through the next part of the day.

You can come to Him with the words you actually have.

This is one reason I am grateful for Scripture learned in calmer seasons.

A familiar verse gives us something to return to when our thoughts feel crowded.

Paul wrote, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8.

Sometimes I would begin with what is true in the moment before me.

A frightening possibility can occupy so much of our attention that we begin responding as though it has already happened.

It may help to acknowledge that uncertainty and return to the task actually in front of us, with the help that is available today.

Paul also writes of “bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” in II Corinthians 10:5.

That passage concerns bringing our reasoning under His truth and authority.

Please be careful about using it to condemn yourself for every unwanted thought that enters your mind.

A thought arriving uninvited is something you can notice without treating it as your intention or as a prediction.

You can bring your distress to the Lord, allow the thought to pass without endlessly arguing with it, and seek help when it keeps disrupting your life.

I also would like to say that as much as you may want to crawl into a hole and avoid everyone, try to keep some company with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor.

Tell them you are having a hard day and would appreciate a little time together.

Allow someone you trust to help bear this burden with you, even if all you can manage at first is a short visit.

There is comfort in being with someone who will let you be honest about how you are doing, without expecting you to become cheerful before the visit is over.

Also, continue to faithfully attend church, even when getting ready and leaving the house feels like more effort than you have to give.

Receive the fellowship you can manage, and if your health keeps you home, ask someone to call or visit.

The body of Christ can help bear this burden with you, including on days when being among them takes more effort than they realize.

I want you to know tonight that I have personally been through these seasons more than once, and I have always come out the other side.

When I say that this too shall pass, I am remembering how real the fear felt while I was in it and how real the relief has been afterward.

That gives me hope for the people close to me who are struggling now, and I want you to have room for that hope, too.

Healing can take time, and you deserve support through all of it.

Approach this trial as an invitation to draw closer to the Lord, bringing Him what you are carrying and trust Him to walk with you through it.

The circumstance may take time to change, and there may be help to receive along the way.

You can keep drawing near to Him through all of that, including on the morning when you wake frightened again after several better days.

If you were sitting across from me today, I would want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me how it has really been, to eat something nourishing and stay awhile without worrying about whether you were taking too long to feel better.

Please allow someone to care for you in that way, and try to offer yourself some of that same kindness as you move through the rest of this season.

The Lord knows how much it is taking, and you can let yourself receive help while you are still healing.

It’s okay to not be okay, but I want to encourage you to take care of your body, and keep your eyes on Him and trust that this too shall pass—maybe not tomorrow, but in time.

Biblical Womanhood

*A note on care: These are personal experiences and general suggestions, not an individual treatment plan. Follow any prescribed diet or exercise guidance, and check supplements with a qualified health professional before starting them, particularly if you take medication, are pregnant, or have thyroid, liver, or kidney conditions. Persistent or disabling anxiety deserves support. New or severe chest pain, breathing difficulty, or fainting needs urgent medical attention.*

Subscribe

I wrote “When You Can’t Control It: A 6-Week Bible Study for Those Who Are Tired of Worrying, Overthinking, and Carrying Everything” for the friend whose mind has been working three shifts while the rest of the house sleeps.

You love your people, take your duties seriously, and have slowly begun carrying outcomes, hearts, decisions, and futures that God never placed under your authority.

This study is a fundraiser for this ministry.

The base price is $5.25, but you can choose to give any amount.

Giving over the baseline helps me put this in the hands of friends who cannot afford any amount.

Some of you have already generously given, and I’ve been able to bless a handful of ladies with this study free of charge.

If your circumstances don’t allow you to purchase this today, but you feel it would benefit you—please reach out privately and I will happily give this study to you as a free gift.

Get The Study Fundraiser