I have seen this image many times.
This great tree spreading wide, its branches reaching outward, sheltering love beneath it.
Every time I see it, something deep inside me pauses, because whether we realize it or not, every mother and father are building a tree.
The question is never whether a tree is being built.
The question is what kind of tree it will become.
When God established the family, He did not merely create a collection of individuals sharing an address.
He created something living, something intended to grow, deepen, strengthen, and bear fruit from one generation into the next.
Long after parents are gone, the fruit of the tree remains.
Long after voices grow silent, the roots continue feeding future generations.
Like the painting depicts the mother and father are the base of that tree.
Their faithfulness becomes the root system.
Their marriage becomes part of the trunk.
Their words, habits, convictions, priorities, and faith become the structure upon which everything else grows.
When I think about my own family, I often find myself wondering what kind of tree we have built?
Will our adult children find shelter beneath its branches?
Will our grandchildren?
Will there be fruit worth passing down?
Scripture speaks of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.”
I love the imagery of fruit because fruit exists for the benefit of others.
An apple tree does not eat its own apples.
A peach tree does not enjoy its own harvest.
Fruit is given away.
And so it should be within a family.
The tree we build should bear fruit that nourishes everyone who gathers beneath it.
There should be love hanging heavily from its branches.
The kind of love that remains faithful when life becomes difficult.
The kind of love children witness between their parents and eventually carry into their own marriages.
There should be joy there too.
Not a shallow happiness dependent upon circumstances, but the settled joy that comes from walking with Christ.
A joy that fills kitchens and dinner tables.
A joy that sings hymns while folding laundry.
A joy that survives hardship because its roots run deeper than comfort.
Peace should grow there.
A home where people can exhale.
A home where conflict is handled honestly.
A home where people feel safe.
A home where children know they are loved even when correction is necessary.
Longsuffering should grow there.
Patience with one another.
Patience with immaturity.
Patience with weaknesses.
Patience with growth that takes longer than we hoped.
Gentleness should grow there.
The world offers enough harshness. Children should find gentleness beneath the family tree.
Goodness should grow there.
Integrity.
Honesty.
Kindness.
A life that reflects Christ not only on Sunday morning but on Tuesday afternoon when nobody is watching.
Faith should grow there.
Strong branches built from years of watching parents trust God through real life.
Through financial hardship.
Through sickness.
Through disappointment.
Through unanswered prayers.
Through grief.
Children do not learn faith primarily from lectures.
They learn it by watching.
When storms come and parents cling to Christ anyway, the roots grow deeper for everyone.
There should also be leaves of mercy.
Leaves of forgiveness.
Leaves of grace.
Every family will fail one another eventually.
Every family will experience hurt, misunderstanding, and disappointment because every family consists of sinners.
The difference between a healthy tree and a dying one is often found in whether forgiveness is allowed to grow.
A family where mercy flourishes can survive tremendous storms.
A family where bitterness is cultivated eventually becomes sick from the inside out.
And perhaps nowhere is this more visible than in sibling relationships.
One of the great responsibilities of parents is helping strong sibling bonds take root and flourish.
The world talks endlessly about marriage and parenting, yet often overlooks the importance of sibling relationships.
Those brothers and sisters may very well spend longer as siblings than they spend living under their parents’ roof.
They will share memories nobody else possesses.
They will carry pieces of the same story.
Parents help shape whether those branches grow together or grow apart.
I have watched beautiful family trees become damaged because parents played favorites.
Some openly favored one child over another.
Some carried gossip from one sibling to another.
Some fueled competition.
Some allowed division to grow unchecked.
Nothing weakens a tree faster than deliberately cutting at its own branches.
When parents pit siblings against one another, comparison begins replacing connection.
Resentment begins replacing affection.
Suspicion begins replacing trust.
Eventually the branches stop growing toward one another.
And the entire family suffers.
The opposite is beautiful to witness.
Parents who celebrate each child’s unique gifts.
Parents who teach siblings to rejoice in one another’s victories.
Parents who encourage loyalty, forgiveness, and friendship between brothers and sisters.
Parents who help children understand that family is not a competition.
The strongest family trees are often the ones where the branches intertwine.
Where brothers and sisters become some of one another’s greatest blessings.
Where children grow into adults who still gather willingly because love remains.
And above all else, there should be Christ.
Because ultimately the tree does not belong to us.
We are merely tending what God has entrusted.
Psalm 1 describes the righteous man as “like a tree planted by the rivers of water.”
Planted.
Rooted.
Established.
Drawing life from a source greater than itself.
That is the kind of family tree I want.
Not one admired by the world.
Not one praised for appearance.
A tree rooted deeply enough in Christ that future generations can find shade beneath it long after I am gone.
A tree bearing fruit that points people toward the goodness of God.
A tree whose roots are nourished by faith, whose branches are strengthened by love, and whose fruit feeds everyone fortunate enough to gather beneath its shelter.
Because whether we realize it or not, every day we are building something.
The only question is what kind of tree our children will inherit when we are finished?
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